|End result of No Shave November|
Long time readers of my blog will recall that I used to write about other subjects than just shoes. While I love sharing my passion for shoes I have missed sharing more personal stories. Other than my shoe reviews, my highest viewed stories have been about health and diet. In the last view months I have been through a couple of medical scares that I have wanted to write about, but thought the subject matter might be to personal. After much thought and discussion with Amy I have decided to write about it. After all, it was just Mens Health November month and my story relates. This topic is not easy for a lot of people to talk about, but embarrassment is no reason to neglect your health.
|NOT what pee is supposed to look like..|
When I got home I was terrified to pee again, but when I did everything was fine! Now I was really confused. I called the Dr.'s office and they saw me first thing the next morning. After taking a urine sample they confirmed that there was still blood present. I was instructed to do no exercise for the next 5 days and return to give another sample. The results of that test were negative and the Dr. felt that it was a simply exercise induced and nothing to worry about. Call again if it happens any more.
Shortly after this I noticed that I started seeing very dark spots in my feces almost every time I went. I went to the internet and scared myself for all the possible issues that it could be. The most common thing I saw was that it might be blood. Dark blood may indicate several things, but most likely it would be coming from the stomach or high in the intestines. Colon cancer and stomach cancer was mentioned as possible causes frequently.
Since I had a physical scheduled for Oct. 23 I decided to wait to discuss it with my Dr. then. Probably not the smartest idea if something was really wrong, but it is just what I did. I had not had a physical for 15 years and Amy had been urging me to have one. I tend to ignore that stuff because I am very healthy. My Dr. went through all the usual stuff, but now that I'm over 40 I got the added bonus of having my prostate exam too!! As she lubed up, she told me that I would feel a "little pinch"... I then learned that my prostate is located way, way, way further up my ass than I knew. Like maybe 4 inches behind my eyeballs...
|Yes, the sticks are for....oh nevermind.|
I received back the results of the blood work and every thing was excellent. Total Cholesterol is 173. HDL is 73, LDL is 83, Triglycerides is 83. My liver function, kidney function, blood sugar, thyroid function, calcium, potassium and complete blood count were all normal. The only thing they recommended was to take 1000mg of vitamin D daily as my count is 22.
I returned the stool sample cards about a week later and they told me that there was no evidence of blood. After discussing with the doctor and explaining that I was still very frequently having the same symptoms she told me that she wanted me to have the Colonoscopy. She said I would be getting a call from the GI department shortly to schedule it. About two weeks later I realized that nobody had ever called me back. On Tuesday November 20th I called to find what was going on. They told me that all the paperwork had been shipped to the GI department on the 15th and I needed to call them. So I called the GI department. They told me that they had received the paperwork on the 18th and would call me when they were ready to schedule the appointment.
So I waited. And waited. And started to get upset. On December 5th I posted something on Facebook about how pissed I was that I pay a huge amount of money for health insurance for me, my family, and my employees and I got treated like a number. What if I did actually have some type of cancer? Don't they tell you over and over that early detection is the best offense? It was now almost a month and a half since my physical and they still hadn't even scheduled the appointment! The next day I called again and finally got an appointment for the 18th for the Colonoscopy.
Today was that day. And the reason I decided to write this post is because I thought it might be helpful for anybody who is scared to have this procedure done. As I was. I'm sitting here, letting the effects of the sedation slowly wear off and can honestly say that it was not a big deal at all. Here is what happens.
Two days before the procedure I had to stop eating all fibrous foods. Since I eat a plant based diet, that's not that easy. The day before the procedure I had to switch to a 100% clear liquid diet. Amy was nice enough to make me some veggie broth which was nice and salty. I took a big container of it to work with me as well as several bottles of seltzer water. By the time 10am had rolled around I was starving. They told me that I could eat Jello (as long as it was not red), but I didn't want to do that. I ended up going out and getting some Hammer Heed. It turned out to be a really smart move. I sipped on bottles of it all day. It has 100 calories per scoop and it really kept me from getting too hungry.
At 4pm the fun started. Thats when it was time to "Prep". Luckily they had allowed me to do the prep using something called Osmoprep. It is a pill about the size of a large vitamin. But you have to take 32 of them. Four pills washed down with at least 8oz of water every 15 minutes for the first hour and 15 minutes. Then at 6pm you do it again for another 45 minutes. Traditionally to prep you have to drink a huge amount of foul tasting liquid that is extremely hard to drink. My friend who had to do it that way told me horror stories of simultaneous throwing up and violet diarrhea. Sounds great!!!
Fortunately the pills had no such drama. They were very salty, but not hard to get down. I felt a little tummy rumbling after the first hour, but no cramping or anything uncomfortable. A little while after finishing all the pills they started to work. I was expecting to reenact the "Turbo-Lax" scene from Dumb and Dumber, but honestly it was no big deal. It was rather alarming to have that volume and pressure of water ejected from my rear, but it wasn't uncomfortable. By bedtime things had calmed down and I only had to get up once in the middle of the night for another quick Old Faithful impersonation.
|Look! It's me on the toilet!|
I was brought into a room to sleep for a while and when they woke me up they told me that I couldn't leave until I started to pass gas. I was a bit afraid of not passing just gas... but finally things started to loosen up and they let me leave with Amy. The entire thing took about 3 hours. The good news is that everything looked perfect. I'm not sure where I go from here, but I'm glad I had it done. I don't have to have it done for another 5 years and I'll be much less nervous the next time. If you have to have it done, I highly encourage you to do the prep with the Osmoprep Pills. It was a lot easier than I expected.
I'm writing this in the hopes that anybody who might need a scary or potentially embarrassing procedure take action and have it done. Whether its a lump on your testicle or breast, concerns of hemorrhoids, a prostate exam or what I had to go through. Its just not worth jeopardizing your health for the sake of vanity.